Everything is Not Ok
by Heather3
Summary: Something is wrong with Jubilee
1. Default Chapter

The cold metal of the barrel caressed her check as she rubbed it up and down.Sighing she brought the gun down and checked the chamber.It was an older fashioned gun, one that had the bullets spin.Snapping open the chamber she saw the lone bullet.For the past three weeks all she had been thinking about was stopping the pain.Letting the pain go.

Something whispered in her mind that this wasn't the way.Wasn't she the firecracker, the fighter?"Yeah, right."She said quietly to herself."They always expect me to be bright and cheerful.If I have one scowl on my face they question it.If Wolvie had a scowl on his face no one would think anything about it.Why cant they just leave me alone."

She snapped the chamber shut.Taking the gun to her face once again she pulled back the trigger.Closing her eyes she pulled the trigger.A click was all she got from her troubles."Damn and today I thought that this would be it."She quickly put the gun away in a metal box thinking that no one would trouble it and went down stairs.

As soon as she walked into the room, Logan could smell gun oil on his Jubilee but when he went to question her about it she just shrugged and asked him where he got his crazy ideas.Still he wasn't convinced."Jubes, what's going on?"

She smiled bright and quick, "Ok, if you really want to know the truth.I bought some gun oil to pull a prank on Scott.It hasn't happened yet and I didn't want to tell you for fear of you telling him."

"Darlin', you should have known better.Any time you pull a prank on One Eye you can tell me." Seeing her dressed completely in black made him frown.This was the fourth week strait that she had been dressing completely in black.It just wasn't healthy. As he was about to mention the fact to her Remy walked in.

"Petite, where you off to?"Seeing her about to walk out the front. 

"Oh to a little place, just right off the horizon."She said sarcastically.

"That not funny."

"Look I am 22 years old now.I'm not answerable to everyone's question where I'm at or will be going."With a dark look to the two men she went outside before she saw the look pass between Logan and Remy.

With a shrug Remy sat down across from Logan."Someone has got to talk to dat girl.Something's not right, Gambit knows."

Shrugging Logan just picked up the paper.

With the wind blowing through her shoulder length hair she felt almost normal as she rode on the ninja motorcycle that Logan had given her for her 21-birthday.Looking at her watch she notice that if she did not hurry she was going to be late for her appointment.

It was until after nine that Jubilee walked into the mansion.As she passed into the living room she saw Logan. She didn't feel like talking to him or anyone for that matter. Forgetting that he had super sensitive ears she tried to sneak past him.

"That wont work Jubes.You should know better than anyone else that sneaking past me doesn't work.Come in here we need to talk."

"Damn it Logan, I want to go to bed."She snapped at him.

"This will only take a few short minuets."

"Fine, I will be watching the clock."She went into the room and sat down in the seat that Remy had occupied earlier that day.

"I wont beat around the bush but tell you straight away.Everyone is worried about you.Your loosing weight, wearing black, and have been in a black mood."

Quickly she tried to think of a reply that would satisfy him, but could not find away.Instead she just hung her head.

"Jean thinks that you are bulimic.Are you?"

If only it were that, she thought to herself."No, I'm just tired and haven't had time to do laundry."

Looking into her bright blue eyes he could tell that wasn't it.But he could also see that he was not going to be getting any more information out of her that night."You have a g'nite, darlin'."

"Night wolvie."At the bottom of the stairs she turned and looked at him.Thinking that this could be her last night of seeing him. She ran up the stairs and into her room.There she pulled out the gun.Tired of playing she loaded the chamber hoping to fill it not noticing in her state of mind that she didn't fill one chamber.Quickly she spun the chamber and snapped it shut.

Downstairs the sharp smell of the gun oil filled his nostrils once more.Knowing that Jubilee wasn't in any mind to play a prank he ran up to her room.The closer he got the stronger the smell was.Her door was just up ahead. He barged into her room just as she put the gun to her head.

"Jubilee don't!"He yelled just as she pulled the trigger.

An audible click could be heard through the room.Nothing happend.Jubilee stared in horror at Logan.No one was supposed to know.It was supposed to be her secrect."Why Jubilee?"

She just looked at him with a blank face in shock.Still wondering why the gun had not gone off.Then she felt anger.Not even death would let her have the easy way out.

"Jubilee?"He walked over to her and took the gun out of her numbed hands and then gently grabbed her chin in his right hand."Look at me.Why did you do this.

She broke down crying hystaically."Im sorry.I really didnt mean for you to see this.Im so sorry."

"Why Jubilee."He picked her up and tenderly took her over to her bed.Sat down with her and held her as she cried.

"About four weeks to the day I was having stomach problems.I didnt think much of it so I left it be, till it got so painful that I went to see a doctor."She paused for a couple of minuets hicuping. "They found cancer cells."

Silence filled the room.


	2. Logan deals with the prospect

Quickly Logan regained his wits about him

Before I write part two, I know that the x-men more than likely have the technology to battle cancer.But since I do not know anything about this technology I will not write about it. Sorry, I only write about the facts that I do know.Well anyway, enjoy part two and thanks for all the helpful reviews you left me.

Quickly Logan regained his wits about him."Shh, everything is going to be ok.Just relax and we will take care of this."He said while holding her close and stroking her hair.The gun was lying next to them forgotten.He couldn't help but to think that Jeanie should be here comforting Jubes other then himself.Sure she was his partner and they were close but wouldn't Jeanie be better at handling an emotional outburst?He didn't know what to do or say.All he wanted to do was run.No, he had to stay not run.He owed her that much.

Slowly her sobbing turned to gentle sniffs and hiccups."Wolvie, I'm sorry.So sorry.I didn't mean for all this to happen."

He hugged her tighter to him."Don't you ever be sorry.You have nothing to be sorry for, darlin'."

As if in her own little world she went on in a quiet monotone voice, "I don't understand."

He waited patiently for her to finish what she was saying, but when she didn't continue he prodded her to finish her thought."Don't understand what?"

"Why me?"She asked quietly.She was slowly relaxing in his arms completely exhausted from her emotional state of mind.

His voice was almost coaxing he replied, "I don't know darlin'.I just don't know."

"Am I really that bad?Am I not meant for this world?Fist I get tortured, then I have to deal with creed.Now this cancer cells on top of everything else.Sometimes I just want it all to end.You know to start over.Have a good life, no mutant powers, no tortures, no creed, just happy boring Jubes."

"You would be bored Jubes with that life."

"No I wouldn't," she defended defensively.

He didn't have a reply to that one.He was still stuck on the thought that his Jubes was sick and hurting.A part of him wanted to be in denial.Wanted to tell himself; "No, not his Jubilee."His Jubilee was a healthy not sick.

"Wolvie, I'm just so sick and tired of living."With a sigh she relaxed against him completely.All the fight gone from her body."Just leave me alone and let me die in peace."

A world without the smiles and pranks, a world without the Jubester. No! Never!He growled, his chest rumbling against her checks."I don't ever want to hear you say that again!There is no way, and I mean no way that I will let you go.No matter what, I will not let you go."

She started to push herself away from him, but he just held on tighter."What's the point, Logan?When things get tough you leave."Tears started to flow from her eyes again."You always leave me, so what's the point of staying?"She half smiled, "For the first time it will be me leaving you first."

"Not this time, darlin'.It's nowhere near your time.This time I will do everything I can to stay with you.Here and now."

Hours passed by as he watched Jubilee.She had fallen asleep against him while he held her against his side."Why you, Jubes.I don't know, I just don't know anymore then you do."He brushed back a lock of hair that had fallen almost into her eye, kissed her forehead and gently held her tighter against him.He didn't notice when he drifted off to sleep.

When dawn broke thought the penetrating darkness that night had created Logan woke up and saw that someone has placed a blanket over them.It didn't take two thoughts on who had done it.Jeanie must have picked up on the emotional charged that Jubilee was been giving off.

Gently he picked Jubilee up and carried her over to the bed.He didn't think that she was still suicidal but didn't wasn't to leave it to chance.Before picking up the gun he glanced around the room to see if there was anything else she could hurt herself on.With one last glance in the room he picked up the gun and left to go to his own rooms down the hall.

Looking down at the gun as he sat on the green couch he thought to himself.This little piece of metal was so small but yet so deadly.This little piece of machinery would have killed someone more precious to him then life itself.With a spurt of anger he tossed the gun in the air. "Snick" his claws out he sliced the gun into little pieces.As they tumbled to the floor he heard a soft knock at the door.

Debating with himself to let her in and knowing that if he pretended not to be in here she would know."Come in, Red," he yelled at the door.

The door slowly creaked open to revel a stunning red haired beauty that Logan would usually pause to admire he looks because of her hair.She was dressed beautifully in a skin tight fitting one piece that was the color of blue and yellow.With a belt that was made of several little x's.

She walked over to the bed and sat on the edge."Logan when I went to bed last night, I peaked in on Jubilee and saw you two and the fun that is now in pieces at my feet.I'm worried. What the hell is going on?"

He looked down at his hands and saw how they were folded together.While Jubilee had not told him not to say anything, he knew that she would be upset if everyone knew.She would think that everyone would pity her and now want to help.At the same time they would be finding out shortly soon anyway."Remember when Jubes came home from school two weeks ago looking pale and said she just wanted to visit cause she missed everyone so much?"

At Jeanie's node he went on, "Well that's not the truth.When she went to see the doctor about some cramps that she had been having they found cancer cells."

Jeanie paled, "Oh, my god, not this.How bad is it?"

"I don't know.We talked a little last night, but not about how bad it was.Nor did I have a chance to talk to her about what options are there."

"Well this solves it Logan.I will talked with Beast and see what he says, then either you or me will have to talk Jubilee into seeing Beast.'

When Logan was about to reply the phone rang.He reached over to his right to answer it, "Yeah?" he growled.

"Logan?"It was Jubilee and there was something in her voice that he couldn't detect, worry or fear?

"Jubilee I thought you where asleep.You sound worried everything ok?"

"Well I uh was, but then I got bored and went out for a ride.You know how morning rides are.Peace quiet nothing but the open rode and you."

She didn't answer his second question."Well, if you just went out for a ride why are you calling me.Everything ok?"

She paused the silence filled the phone line, "Uh, not exactly.I'm at the police station.They uh arrested me for reckless driving and impounded my bike.I need a ride."

"I'll be there in five minuets."


	3. The Drive Home

_A:N: Sorry it's been so long since I've updated, but school interfered.  Next update hopefully will be a little quicker_

It took Logan close to a half an hour to reach the police station.  By the time that he arrived his temper had only gotten worse. When Jubilee saw him walking in with a scowl on his face, she started wishing that she had called someone else.  He walked over to where she sat on a bench near the exit doors.

            Nervously she twirled her hands in her lap and looked up at him without saying anything.  When he didn't say anything for what seemed like an eternity to her she finally muttered a thank you.

            His dark look only got darker, "I didn't buy you that bike for you to go out reckless driving."

            She stood up next to him, looked at him in the face and whispered at him in a heated tone of voice, "No you didn't, but on the other hand, you're no longer my parent.  I'm anything but a young 16 year old driving for the first time.  I would have gotten away with it had I not decided to stop for the pig to catch up."

            In a rare display he backed down thinking to himself, she's right.  My Jubilee is not a kid anymore.  I should know this by now, with the new feelings that I have been having towards her since she turned 21.  But dammit, I don't want her out risking her life like this either.

            Jubilee reached over and gently laid her hand on his forearm.  "I'm sorry; I just wanted to feel alive again.  With so much going on, the only way that I can feel some happiness is riding at high speeds," a look of sorrow crossed her face, "and now I can't even do that."

            "I understand darlin'.  I really do understand."  Logan reached over and put his arm around Jubilee's shoulders and began walking outside.

            Jubilee laid her head against his shoulder in weakness.  She was tired from all the excitement of last night and today.  The doctors said it would only be a matter of time before the weakness would win unless they did the other option.  Looking around for Logan's bike and not seeing it she asked, "Where's the bike?"

            He looked down at her and noticed that a lock of hair had fallen across her forehead and fought the urge to move it out of the way and place a gentle kiss there.  "Scottie boy wanted to borrow it today.  I thought that we would go out and around on your bike so I told him no problem and not to scratch it.  So because I didn't have my bike and that Scottie boy was driving my bike, I decided to take his prized mustang."

            Jubilee giggled behind her hand, "I can just see his face when you told him that you decided that you can take him mustang anytime you want.  He hasn't even let Jean drive that thing yet."  She was going to say more but then a wave of dizziness assaulted her.

            Logan felt Jubilee stumble and clutch her head, "Do you want to stay here while I bring the car around?" He asked not letter go of her.

            "How much further?"

            "Two more isles then it's a comfy ride back to the mansion."

            "I can make it."  Her stomach started cramping up.  I can make it, I can make it.  She repeated over and over to herself, not noticing the worried frown that Logan wore.  What seemed like years which instead was really several seconds, they finally reached the car.

            Logan helped Jubilee into the passenger seat then got in the other side.  Logan made a promise to himself that as soon as they reached the mansion, Jubilee was going to see Hank whether he wanted to or not.

            As it turns out they never made it back to the mansion.  About five miles up the road, Jubilee called out hoarsely to pull over to the side.  Before Logan could do anything to react, she flung open the door and vomited while clutching her stomach and crying.

            "Darlin' anything I can do," Logan said feeling extremely helpless.  He got out of the car and went to the other side to hold her head.  That's when he saw her throwing up nothing but blood.


	4. Goodbye Logan

            When Logan saw she was throwing up blood, he ran back to the car and pulled out a cell phone to call the hospital.  As he was making the call he went around the car to get back to Jubilee.  

            Not knowing what else to do he held back her head and gave directions to the operator.  After he gave directions to where they were located at he snapped the phone shut and turned his full attention to Jubilee.  While stroking the back of her shirt in comfort he whispered soothingly, "Shh, its ok.  The ambulance will be here any second.  The operator said for you to take deep breaths of air."  Seeing that she was no longer throwing up, he gently leaned her back against the seat.

            Her face was pale like a ghost.  He didn't like that.  With her black leather outfit it really brought out the shallowness of her face. "Wolvie, I'm so sorry.  I didn't mean for this to happen."

            "Its ok, darlin'.  Don't try to talk.  Just relax."

            She smiled up at him and it made his heart beat faster, "This isn't the way X-Men are supposed to be huh.  They're supposed to be though right up to the end, not sick and useless like me."

            As he was about to say a reply he heard sirens coming in the distance, "They're almost here."  He could tell by the way her eyelids were fluttering that she was on the verge of passing out.

            Her hand reached out towards his face and let it caress his cheek.  Logan was surprised at the warm feelings that rushed through him.  For the time being it was like time had frozen and all that stood for them was just that moment.  It was shattered by the ambulance arriving.  In a matter of minutes they had Jubilee loaded up with directions for Logan to follow.

            Logan stood there and watched as the ambulance with Jubilee in it took off.  He got back into the car he had "borrowed" to follow only something held him back  The urge to be by himself, before he walked into a place that smelled of sickness and death, was strong.  He did a u-turn and went the opposite direction towards a state park.  He staid there in the woods all night and just meditated.

            The next morning when Logan, still in his rumpled clothing from the night before, went to the hospital Jubilee was not in her there.  Instead a pert young nurse gave him a note saying the young girl hadn't wanted to stay after arriving.  He took the note without thanking her and went out to a bench that was in front of the hospital.

Dearest Wolvie

We've had some great adventures and now its time for me to go on alone. For once you stuck by me and now it will be me running.  I'm sorry.  Through the grapevine I have heard of a doctor in Mexico who uses a new method to heal cancer.  I must try it.  No longer will I be suffering doctors and their needles.  If it doesn't work, think of this as a beginning and not an ending.  If at all possible I will return as soon as the treatments are done.  If not, I have lived a long and rewarding life being your sidekick.  Please don't try to find me; this is something I have to do on my own.  I need to find myself again and stop whining about why me.

Love you.  Always have and always will. 

Jubesters.

            As he was about to howl in rage Logan took deep calming breaths.  "Ok, if that's the way you want it Jubes, you can have your peace.  Two months I will give you and then I'm coming for you.  And if you are still sick, we will find a cure for you!


End file.
